Oh, the corporate world is a funny place. There are all these rules and regulations, and it seems like there are 20 steps just to do one easy task. I guess I can't complain too much because I get a paycheck in return for this nonsense...
I have worked in a few different fields in my whole 26 years of life. Titles including Tanning Specialist, Pharmacy Tech, Nationally Certified Massage Therapist, VP of non-profit, Receptionist, QA Analyst, and this list goes on. Some of these jobs were in the 'corporate' realm and others were small family owned businesses. There is one item that is universal between them all - Business Babble.
This business babble is the language used in the office during meetings, emails, or phone conversations. I can say that this babble was completely different for each job I worked at, but I wanted to share some of my favorites... and what they really mean to the 'average Joe' or Josephine!
Business babble and corporate phrases:
An action that occurs frequently, but shouldn't, and is therefore considered an item that rarely happens.
Do this ASAP, or I will be following up. Probably tomorrow. Or in an hour. Either way, this is urgent.
This is like the 'resting bitch face' of statements. It means, I am right, you are wrong, but please explain why this is occurring. Please, share your knowledge that I don't care to hear about!
This information is from management.
You must read this. You must implement this. This is one of the most important messages you will receive all day! But really, it's just bullshit.
Quick note / Just an FYI
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention...?
This type of person loves to qualify their statements.
If you have any further questions on this, you can direct them to my manager
I'm done with you. And if you do respond back to me, I will just forward your email to my manager, or better yet, DELETE it.
Are any of these relevant where you work?