a traveling Wife: Across the Miles

Across the Miles

Friday, September 21, 2012

I have been talking to a lot of different people regarding my long distance relationship 
that I used to have with my Hubby. I believe all this conversation has started 
since I posted about our 7 years together, here.

I can post all day and night about all the positive that is now in my life and blah, blah, blah.
But really, long distance relationships suck and they are hard work.

The six years in which we were in a long distance relationship was tough on us emotionally, 
physically, and mentally. Some days I felt like giving up I am not sure how Hubby felt about it.

I do not normally share negative things on my blog but I am writing this in hopes that I can help out 
those of you who are in a long distance relationship. I am not writing this to scare 
anyone away from a long distance relationship because each is different in its own way 
but to show the realities and how we overcame them.

So let's start at the beginning. Our first four years of the long distance relationship, we were 
separated by about 100 miles. Now that is really not that far but we were both in school and had jobs. 
That meant that we only saw each other on the weekends or every other weekend. 

This was a very trying time for me. I had never been in a long distance relationship and my prior 
relationship ended in a way that ruined my trust for a long time to come. So how was I supposed to trust someone that I had only known for a year? Trust that this person would be solely monogamous to me? 
Especially while being at a party school, living on campus  which I did not do, he did, and believe that drunk girls would not throw themselves at him? Okay that all may be a bit dramatic but at the time that's how I felt.

Now let's move onto the 5th year of our long distance relationship. During this 5th year, Hubby had graduated college and found a job that relocated him about 730 miles away from me. This was a tough, tough time for me. This time I knew he was not going to be at a party school and such, but that he would be working hard and I did not know how he would deal with being away from his family. 

We tried hard to make it a point to visit each other every 3 months. It got extremely costly but we 
stuck with it trying to alternate who went to visit who. But then all the holidays 
came around and he mostly came to visit me because it was closer to his family. 

We always made it a point to talk on the phone everyday. But often times Hubby would be so tired and fall asleep while I was talking to him. Let me tell you, it is extremely hard to build a close, personal relationship when you are miles apart. Many days I would hang up the phone upset or mad because we hardly had a conversation. Most of the time they went like this, "How was your day? Mine was okay. This, this and this happened. Okay, have a goodnight and I will talk to you tomorrow. Love you too.". It was the same thing day in and day out.

Now the 6th year comes along. Hubby's job relocated him and we were now over 2,200 miles away from each other. It was coming down to 9 months before our wedding and we had our shower, rehearsal, and 
tastings to still attend before our big day. All these details from what kind of 
flower to what flavor cake to seating charts and invitations and so on.

I would try to ask questions about the wedding over the phone but Hubby, again, would fall asleep. 
I couldn't really blame him because he was working long hours and crazy shifts. 
But really, at the time I was pissed. We tried to continue to see each other every 3 months but it 
became hard to work around with all the wedding festivities. 
The longest we went without seeing each other was 6 months right before the wedding.

Those 6 months were a very intense time for me. I felt like I was losing control of what our relationship was and it was all about the wedding because let's face it, I wanted it to be a nice day. During those 6 months, I was finishing school, studying for the NCETM, planning the details for the wedding, and planning my move across country. 
I was spiraling downwards and fast.

Finally, once I moved to be with my Hubby things got so much better. We already knew a lot about each other over the 7 years that living together wasn't much of a surprise. It was just about building our personal bond together since we were used to just talking on the phone. 

As I previously said, long distance relationships can be extremely challenging but each relationship is 
different because of the people and distances between them.
This post was not written to scare anyone. More so to share my experiences.

via google images

So how do you feel about long distance relationships?

1 comment:

  1. Oh that IS tough. I'm not sure that I could have survived 6 months apart from my guy, most especially the 6 right before the wedding but I also suppose we never really know what we can handle 'til it's ours to handle.

    Following ya now and forever from the GFC Hop. If you'd please... I'd love it if you'd join me for the ride at localsugarhawaii.com.



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